Introducing the "24" Jacktracker:
Day 5, 7 a.m. to 11 a.m.
Courtesy of the fine folks at Wayfaring, Flickr, YouTube, and of course, Fox TV's 24, we're proud to introduce the latest in time-wasting map technology: the Gridskipper Jacktracker, in which we map Jack Bauer's progress through 24 hours of travel, terrorism, and mayhem, generally committed in and around Los Angeles. But this is not the LA we know -- time, space, and various laws of physical geography may be warped and broken with impunity, as we shall soon see. Besides mapping Jack's travels, we'll provide geographic commentary here, on Wayfaring, and on Flickr. Click around on the Jacktracker map, waypoints, and photos for more LA and show trivia via Flickr. "It's all connected" folks, don't worry -- Martha Logan will take care of you. Bob Hanifen, your intrepid Gridskipper Los Angeles correspondent, took on what turned out to be quite the daunting task, tracking the first four hours of Jack's Day 5 (a.k.a. Season 5), which occurred in 24's alternate reality from 7 a.m. to 11 a.m. Analysis, pics, video, and links after the jump.
Episodes in a Nutshell: Jack is dead. No he's not. Frank Flynn = Jack Bauer. Frank drills oil, as well as Diane Huxley. Diane Huxley = Audrey Raines. Derek Huxley = Kim Bauer. Ex-President David Palmer perishes. Hard perimeter! Mike sad. Walt bad. President Logan = prick. Martha Logan = crazy ... or not. Michelle RIP. Tony traumatized, both at home and in CTU infirmary. Chloe banged. Spenser lucky. Edgar jealous. Chloe chased. Audrey annoying. Curtis = Superfly. Derek spies. Jack flies. Tank farm anti-terrorism. Jack's bad. Derek's disgusted. Hard perimeter breached! Impossible, you say. Wayne Palmer behaves. Chloe busted. Queer as Folk gay quarterback police officer! Hard perimeter breached -- Part 2 -- shit happens. Ontario Airport attacked! WTF! Who cares? Oh -- nerve gas. Who will notice nerve gas in polluted Inland Empire? Chevensky deep-throats cyanide. Hobbits exist ... as bureaucrats. Buchanan uncomfortable. Martha naughty. Pierce pissed. Evelyn lectured. Edgar embarrassed. Chloe clever -- cellphone shenanigans. Diane drives. Derek's dumb. Diane distressed. Flank 2! Flank 2, dammit!
Hostage hoax! Curtis and Jack cremate Ontario terrorists. Two terrorists escape. Ontario Airport safe again for Inland Empire Vegas weekenders. Or is it? Questions remain: China? Russia? Audrey vs. Diane? Kim vs. mountain lion? Chase? Nina? Edgar vs. Spenser? Martha vs. Walt? Evelyn + Pierce = sex? Spenser evil? Walt -- how evil? Mike -- depressed? Wayne -- fake memoirs? Logan -- defibrillator deployed? Tony -- dead? Hobbit + Buchanan = homosexual lovers? More to come at 11 a.m.
Geographic Reality Report
Jack & Derek: Mojave, California to Topanga Tank Farm, via stolen helicopter: 64 miles over 15 minutes=254 mph. Standard helicopter goes only 167 mph. Doubtful.
Chloe: Chloe's Loft to Topanga Tank Farm via taxi: 24 miles over 30 minutes = 48 mph. Possible.
Chloe, Jack, & Derek: Topanga Tank Farm to Wayne Palmer's Westwood Condo via stolen terrorist van: 20 miles over 15 minutes = 80 mph. Doubtful.
Jack & Derek: Wayne Palmer's Westwood Condo to Ontario (California) International Airport via stolen car: 56 miles over 17 minutes = 195 mph. Impossible.
Diane Huxley: Mojave to Ontario International Airport via car: 108 miles over 70 minutes = 92 mph. Highly doubtful.
Kill Count*: 16
Confirmed Jack Kills: 6
Confirmed Curtis Kills: 1
Total Terrorist Deaths: 11
Total Civilian Deaths: 5
Hard Perimeters in Place: 1
Hard Perimeter Breaches: 2
Terrorist Attacks: 6
Terrorist Threat Level:
24 Time/Distance Reality Breaches**: 4
*Induced suicides count as kills.
**Taking into account supposed time of day, direction, and LA traffic patterns.
Full episode recaps and even more elaborate 24 navel-gazing can be enjoyed at TVGasm. Map and statistical updates will occur hereafter every Tuesday, barring unforeseen TiVo mishaps. The Wayfarer map will go "dark" every Monday evening, and will reappear at the next Gridskipper update. L.A. Letter, for those of you who care, is moving to Thursday.
Jacktracker [Wayfaring]
“Jacktracker” [Wayfaring Blog]
24 Archives [TVGasm]
24 [Fox TV]
Previously: Taradise: Tara ‘Tards, New Gridskipper Photo Pool on Flickr, Wayfaring: Google Maps for Dummies, L.A. Letter: Rose Bowl Link Orgy, TVGasm Takes You To Town
