Best Interview Ever: Career Tramps, Wankers.

London by London is a weekly email we get in our mailboxes every Wednesday in which Londoners query Londoners about London. Mostly the questions are a little too insider to be of use, like "Does anyone know any public area near Victoria which is dry or undercover where I can take my packed lunch and eat it without getting soaking wet if it rains?" but a recent interview with Angus Baldwin, a 45-year-old homeless vet from Glasgow who's been living homeless in London for the past 20 years, qualifies as one of the most interesting interviews since Terry Gross interviewed Gene Simmons on Fresh Air. Excerpts herewith:

What's the most irritating thing about London?
The number of fucking career tramps out there. They dress in scruffy clothes and park their cars round the block. You see it all the time these days. I saw five of them get out of a Mercedes the other day. The wankers.
What's the most invigorating thing about London?
Knowing that however bad it gets, there is always someone worse off. Keeps you on your toes.
What do you do to relax in London?
Wake up in the morning and open a strong can of lager. Gets rid of that metallic glare.
Favourite pub?
It's been a while since I've been in a pub, apart from a Wetherspoons, and they don't count. These days it's any park bench with my name on it. Why spend £3.50 on a bottle of piss, when you can get eight Steineys for a fiver, and they're 9%. People in pubs are just pissing it up the wall.
Most memorable tube experience?
Shitting cider out of my arse while vomiting.
Most memorable cab experience?
Fuck off. I can't even afford a bus mate. I got run over by a cab once in Camberwell though. I was weaving my way across from the green on crutches, and the cunt came out of nowhere. The fucker didn't even stop.
Which period of London's history would you like to experience?
The last 20 years. I can't remember fuck all of it.

[Photo of representative hobo: Lyobomir Bukov]

Previously: Homeless World Cup, They're Not Homeless, They're Art!, Free WiFi=Homeless Cops, La River Runs Through It