United Likes It Sideways

In an attempt to shave a few minutes off its boarding procedures, United Airlines is re-instituting their decade-dead WILMA methodology -- or, WIndow, Middle, Aisle. That is, passengers are called to board planes based on where they sit relative to the sides of the plane rather than the more traditional back-to-front arrangement. In theory, this is supposed to get people out of the aisle faster, as you don't have to clamber over someone to get to a seat. United gets a little annoyed at criticism of the practice, and in fact seems a little wary of talking about it -- the only official description of WILMA I could find was on the page for the defunct United Shuttle (which originated the idea), and on a United South Korea page at that. It seems like a pretty obvious bit of nonsense, since clambering over people is a minimal delay; major bottlenecks occur with passengers packing their crap into overhead bins, regardless of where they sit. I say passengers should be allowed to board according to more intuitive priorities, such as descending order of physical appearance or ascending order of sexual frustration.

How to End Airplane Boarding Bottlenecks [NY Times]
United Shuttle features [United South Korea]

Previously: Delta: European Assault, “Meet Me In” Rendezvous Arranger, Annoy Your Way to Free Airfare, Mexico City Airport Hell, How Do You Like Your Warm Nuts?