I Ralph New York: Tourist Sites with Vomit Potential
Visitors come from far and near to experience the magic of New York City. The last thing they want is for their starry-eyed vision to be extinguished in a fiery supernova, which is almost exactly what happens when a trip is interrupted by unplanned vomiting. We want you to enjoy the city without restraint, but hope that our efforts to keep dry cleaning bills down, ambient air (more) breathable, and puking in its proper place (model-frequented restaurant bathrooms) will prevent unnecessary burst-outs. So, to save your vacation we have compiled a list of tourist destinations that warrant a warning. Leave us a comment if you have "Ralphed", or even just thrown up in your mouth and swallowed it, at a tourist destination not on the list. (photo)
Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest
Surf Ave & Stillwell Ave
Brooklyn, NY 11224
If you demand a lot from your 4th of July cookout, check out this event sponsored by the International Federation for Competitive Eating. This annual glutton bowl is open … to the public, so you can join in if you feel up to competing against professionals in a race to consume discarded chicken and pork parts. With a little luck, you'll eclipse the pie eating scene from What's Eating Gilbert Grape. [link]
Live Audience Member for Live with Regis and Kelly
Columbus Ave & 67th St
New York, NY 10023
When I learned there was a 12-month wait for reserved tickets for the show, I almost threw up. Still, if you are hellbent on emptying your stomach contents, it would be … a good idea to drag yourself to 67th and Columbus early in the AM to get a stand-by number. If there are seats available after reserved ticket holders are seated, you can see what uninspired "television" looks like first hand. (photo) [link]
Galactic Roller Coaster Simulator
South St & Fulton St
New York, NY 10038
Capitalizing on the hordes of tourists who flock to the South Seaport Historic District at the insistence of every guidebook there is, this capsule -- also known as a … "puke pod" -- takes riders on a five-minute coaster ride through space. The speeding star-scape simulation inside the shuttle is complemented by hydraulic movements that rock the rig. Aware of its effects and eager to limit interior power washes, the owners have posted a sign warning those sensitive to motion sickness. [link]
BB King Blues Club and Grill
237 W 42nd St
New York, NY 10036
The neon signage is a dead giveaway, but for too many tourists high expectations combine with overpriced, under-edible food at this trap to leave it off the list. If you … have accidentally flagged a waiter, ordered food, and ingested a portion, you should make like a model and head to the W.C. To be fair, some blame should be shouldered by Times Square, which is generally nauseating, but in the end it's B.B. giving you the blues. [link]
Select Exhibits at Museum of Sex
233 5th Ave
New York, NY 10016
[link]
Central Park Carousel
830 5th Ave
New York, NY 10065
The carousel in Central Park boasts enormous, hand-painted steeds, music from a Wurlitzer, and an uncommon design that leaves it housed in a brick building. Beware: … undigested baby food can combine with the ambient smell of unclean diapers and wafting horse manure to turn the merry-go-round into an upchuck cyclone. [link]
